Reuben’s momma firmly believes that everyone needs essential skills--especially, academic and social competencies. And, if she had to prioritize those 2 skill groups, she would reluctantly admit that although good academic ability gives an individual access to more options and choices (good), social competencies are the MOST important skills needed to live a happy life (even better).
The hard part for me and Reuben's dad is answering this question, “how does a parent help their child become socially smart?” We think about this question A LOT. We read to him nightly because research shows that this builds academic potential and we plan to help him in any way possible to build his academic skills as he grows up--But, we especially want to help our son live up to his middle name (Friendly) and live a happy life.
On this topic of teaching your children to be socially smart, I want to give some credit to Reuben’s Uncle Matt and Aunt Angi because clearly they are teaching social skills in their home and the following little anecdote demonstrates this fact: Yesterday me, Reuben, and Cousin Jamin were getting ready for a walk. I was holding the Reubster and struggling to get his stroller out of the car. Jamin, who is 4 years old, noticed me struggling and said, “Hollie, I can sit down on the sidewalk and hold Reuben for you!”
This thing that Jamin did was commendable on many levels and may be inappropriately viewed as simple, here's 3 reasons why it demonstrates complex skill in the social arena:
1). He came up with a workable solution to a socially presented problem within acceptable social parameters—he knows we do not let him hold the baby unless he is sitting down and at 4 years old, he is probably too little to get the stroller out of the car himself,
2). He anticipated another person’s needs and acted—a skill many people 10 times his age are not fluent with, and
3). He was gracious—when I thanked him profusely and told him he was really smart he just smiled and asked if we were going to walk “fast or slow?”
We hope Reuben grows up to be socially smart like his cousins. Feel free to give us your advice on this issue of essential skills for growing boys.
1 comments:
Well I hesitate to comment, because I'm certainly not an expert when it comes to these things. (Remember that Reuben's mom was my voice box for most of my childhood.) But for what it's worth, my personal opinion is that his social skills will be most influenced by the example of his parents. You are both thoughtful, friendly people and he will learn life's most important lessons by watching you.
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